On wars and ceasefires
Nobody has bombed a neighborhood, drafted a peace plan on a napkin, or declared victory over people still looking for dinner.
The Birthday Party Presents
Elect Nobody!
Nobody keeps every promise. Nobody lowers every tax. Nobody should have that much power.
Nobody is in Washington working for you. Nobody is perfect. Nobody wins when everybody loses. Nobody takes credit for the sunrise.
Current Affairs Desk
What Nobody Has Done Lately
On greenhouse gases
Nobody revoked the weather, privatized the breeze, or asked the ocean to wait until after the election.
On artificial intelligence
Nobody scraped your grandmother's recipe box, built a data center on your electric bill, or called it innovation when the lights flickered.
On tariffs and prices
Nobody made a grocery receipt read like a ransom note, and Nobody promised that the bill would pay itself.
Official Non-Platform
Nobody's Program
- Nobody will put a lobbyist in charge of the public interest.
- Nobody will sell you a crisis and invoice you for the cure.
- Nobody will confuse a press conference with a solution.
- Nobody will claim the empty chair is full of mandates.
Campaign Store
Official Merch for Nobody
Nobody advises store buyers their payments are non-refundable! All payments made in the Nobody store will support Nobody campaign platform development. Donors may receive an Elect Nobody garment of their choice.
On the Ticket
Your Orders
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Recent Testimonials
Everybody is Nobody
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